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Three rednecks, Jimmy Ray, Moose, and Possum went fishing one Saturday afternoon. While racing back to the boat landing, they wrecked the boat and Possum got killed. The Sheriff's Department, the Water Patrol, and the State Police all came to the scene of the accident and made out their reports. Then they began to argue about who had to tell the widow about her loss. Finally Jimmy Ray pops off, " Hell, I've knowed Possum fer yers. I'll tell his ol' woman!"

There was some dissent, but Jimmy Ray overrode it with declarations like,"Hell's bells boys! I got more takit an' diplomatcy than the whole State Department. I got takit and diplomatcy that I ain't even used yet. Ol' Clinton ought ta make me his Sectary a State. I'd settle all that mess in Yugeslavy and the trouble wi' all them ragheads afore supper time." Finally, just to shut him up, every one agreed to let Jimmy Ray break the news to Possum's wife.

A little while later, Jimmy Ray and Moose arrived at Possum's house. Jimmy Ray knocked on the door. When the lady of the house opened the door, Jimmy Ray spit tobacco juice on the mat and said; "Air you the Wider Clark?" To which she replied, " I'm Mrs. Clark, but I'm not a widow." Jimmy Ray spit again, wiped his mouth on his sleeve & said, "Like hell you ain't!"

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Redneck Jokes